a mother’s day like no other

Spice Girls - Mama

in a few hours it’s mothers’ day, and once again, i won’t be able to spend this day with her and the whole family. the whole clan is back in nagaland by the way, and i am here — in manila… it’s sad i know… but eventually, you get used to it. by far, i guess this is the fourth or fifth time that i celebrate mothers’ day alone or with my friends…

i stumbled upon this song from the spice girls and for quite some time, the lyrics holds true. i mean, it is very much applicable to me and my relationship with my mom.

i used to be a very sweet kid, as in very sweet. i never go to bed without kissing my parents good night, most especially my mom. i cry whenever i wake up and don’t see her anywhere… for me, mom was my security blanket. i used to write her notes whenever i wanna tell her something and leave it at her night table. she usually gets home really late and by that time i am sound asleep. me and my brothers would make her cards and give her simple gifts on special occasions. i always look forward to sundays coz that’s the only time of the week that my parents don’t have to go to work. if not, my dad would usually pick us up at home after dinner on a certain weekday and bring me and my siblings to mom’s office…

growing up was not easy, conflicts arise and at some point i hated my mom… i think everyone goes through this phase, a bit on the rebel side. mom and i often argue about a lot of things… we no longer see each other eye to eye and i stopped being too sweet… usual misuderstandings and all that stuff, i felt like i wasn’t doing good enough or she was just expecting a lot from me… puberty is hell i tell you! i seldom open up to her and we no longer get to have our usual nightly talks by the terrace… i missed those times! i’d usually ask her impossible questions and she’ll try to fill in my own curiosity… things changed, i have undergone adolescence, she’s going through menopause…

for a brief moment, i guess we hated each other… but now, i understood everything. i can’t blame her for expecting too much from me coz i have been an achiever my whole life, straight As and all… she only wants the best for me and i know that now. all she did, i may have misuderstood it or took it the wrong way, was all out of love.

no one is perfect and we all have our flaws. i now understand why my mom would constantly remind me to do good in school, to give due respect to those who deserve it, to be smart and wise at the same time, to know what’s right from wrong, to take good care of myself, to be resposible, to be a good daughter and sister to my brothers…

mothers are indeed God’s gift to all of us… how i wish i could endure such sacrifice when the time comes that i become a mom myself. i consider myself lucky coz i grew up in a family that is happy, simply happy. both my parents are responsible parents and the values they have imparted on all of us are one of the foundations that molded us to be what we are now. i am not saying that my family’s perfect, nothing is… but just looking at myself and where i am now, i can say that i have been brought up nicely (fyi, i am less bitchy now, as i was before)… and i owe that to my parents!

mama, you have raised me well. rest assured, you did not come short of anything when it comes to me and my brothers. i know how you and papa worked hard to give us the life we wanted… how you sacrificed a whole lot just to be good providers. you are the best parents (flaws and all)! i would never trade you for anything! I LOVE YOU both! thanks for everything!

happy mothers’ day mama!

and to all the mothers out there, i wish you all well! may you have the best mothers’ day ahead! 

Boys 2 Men- A Song For Mama