fa-dear’s day

papa… pa… daddy… dada… dad… tatay… itay… tay… father…

he is called in different names, in different languages, in various dialects…

i call mine PAPA or PA. whichever is applicable…

i am the youngest and the only girl among my siblings, so i guess you can call me a daddy’s girl. i used to believe that i am one way back in my kindergarten years and grade school years. papa would always help me out in my school projects, if it’s the artsy kind, he is the man for the job! i was always proud to show off to my classmates my projects because papa did such a great work! a masterpiece! you know how we were when we were still kids… a sketch or a drawing that does not include stick people is an achievement! 

he thought me how to ride a bike and how to fire a rifle… yup! believe it or not, papa has always been fond of guns. he used it to shoot down pesky birds in the neighborhood when i was a still a kid. he was fond of dogs too! i think i got that from him — must love dogs!

he is a more serious man, moody in some ways… come to think of it, i got some of his traits too! well, aside from his good looks, i inherited some of his characteristics as well. he loves music, i can tell. every waking sunday, he puts on his santana and toto records in full volume that it literally shook the house. yup! and i am not exaggerating! sundays would mean sleeping in for all of us siblings and papa would just ruin it by waking us really early with his music! aaarrrgggghhhh!!! but that is how he is… up until now… sundays would be his day… we let him be… after all, we’ve grown to like his music… just not the platters and the stone-age singing groups! toto and santana we can take.

growing up, my papa was the stricter one. he is the disciplinarian. the sound of his voice is a force to reckon with. petty fights and arguments diminish among us siblings upon hearing his voice. if not, we face the stinging lash of his belt. that was how he is… but i was never punished coz i was such a good girl! haha! or maybe because i really am a daddy’s girl. hmmm…

i stopped believing that i was a daddy’s girl when i was in high school. i don’t know why but seemingly my papa was the strict one, and whenever we needed permission on something, we always course it through mama. i guess we always thought papa’s answer would always be a definite N-O on everything. but that changed when we grew older… times indeed changed and it was better asking permission from papa! haha! 

all families undergo struggles and woes… ours wasn’t different. we had our share of family drama…

i was in my junior year in high school, a rumor came to our footsteps telling us that papa was having an affair with my mama’s friend! imagine that! of course i didn’t believe it! i was the very last person to believe… i even fought with my mama over it. i accused her of believing such rumors without even confronting papa first. of course my brothers came to mama’s rescue and for a while there, i was ostracized. i was this close of being disowned by my brothers… see, i told you there was drama…

to cut the long story short, chaos filled the household… eventually, i believed the rumor and could not will myself to even talk to papa. i was disappointed! really disappointed! who wouldn’t be?

up until now, he never admitted to us that the rumor was true! oh well… it was all in the past. everything is forgiven…

i have new-found respect for my papa. after all this time, he never left. he stood by all of us even if we didn’t want to talk to him for some time. he worked really hard to send all of us to school. he is such an industrious man, skillful and he really loves my mom and all of us.

i guess, whatever he has done in the past, nothing is gonna change the fact that he is my father. i owe to him my life. no one’s perfect i get that… we all turn the wrong way but it is up to us to figure our way back… papa did that… and i couldn’t be any prouder to be his daughter and i will forever love him.

i miss him… i miss my family… being away from them is a bit hellish, but that’s life!

to papa, i know you have had your share of flaws (who doesn’t?), but in my eyes, you will always be the BEST papa in the whole wide world! i love you so much! (although i don’t say it much)

if only i could celebrate father’s day with you, i’ll will myself to learn to cook one of your favorite dishes — kare-kare!