lil toddlers

taking a breather from all of the ranting… for a more lighter tone…
one of the reasons why i would always wanna go back to nagaland for a visit is because of these two:  

i know i am not the ever-present auntie/tita during birthday occasions and other family gatherings, but rest assured i will be the good if not the best tita for you! haha!

i went to naga for a weekend visit (that was before the holy week), and i enjoyed every minute of it with my family and true friends!

as i was about to leave, my lil niece IYA, short for Jamella Sofia, was teary-eyed! the moment i said ‘bye’, she got this worried look if not sad look on her face. awww… breaks my heart… she wanted to go with me! i love you dear iya, but i can’t take you with me, i wish i could… you are sooo cute!

and my nephew WACKEE, short for Joaquin Sebastian, bombarded me with repetitive questions… where am i going? where am i going? all i could say was that i’m leaving… haha! you are still the cutest thing wackee! i can pinch your cheeks til days on end! you are way good-looking than your dad! haha!

even if i say where i’m going, lil wackee still has no idea where manila is… maybe i’ll take them with me when they’re older… just for a visit though! haha!

i hope to see you both soon! i think i will be able to go home on christmas this year! haha! that’s still months from now! can’t wait!

save the drama, save the world

title of this blog taken from joyz… thanks friend!i am soo loving the title! you are indeed brilliant!

                                                                    ~*~ 

around the last quarter of the passed year, i was ranting and blogging about a friendship gone sour, of falling out and basically my own opinion about the whole issue of leaving a certain circle of "friends".

for me, the issue died down early this year… my last post about the whole falling out thing was way back in january of this year. it came to a point that i will no longer make an effort to save a friendship that clearly does not need saving… of course i was hopeful, but waiting for nothing is pointless, and i have grown tired of it… i decided to move on…

but lo and behold! the issue got resurrected! and here i was, thinking that my friendster account is dying or close to that… not much activity there… and yet… apparently, just recently, the "friends" were able to read my friendster blog.

and major reactions filled my cellphone through their text messages which was simultaneously sent just this weekend… and major reactions there were…  

girl1 said: alangan man buong buhay mi na lng ika susuyuon…grbe ka man prinz…ok may kulog boot ka samu pero sana man lng pgkaulay mo muna kmi ning toltol..ds is just a reaction duman sa mga pgpost mo,kung makulugan ka sna maicp mo na foul man c mga tgpost mo 4 us..

girl1 said: …an kmi ngpalit #s para d mo kmi makontak..igwa man bga kta pgiribahan,pangit ang arog kayan na patutsadahan neh.harapan kung gus2 para toltol ang urulay..c patas lng na laraban..late ang reaction mi kc now pa lng nahiling sa blog mo..d totoo na di ni ika pginvite kc pgkontak mi gbos and every year naman bga mi pa naaaraman na nguli ka plan..so hu ang mas may karapatan mgtampo..ako ngttxt man saimu pero mski smiley mau.how can u say na disgrace kmi?e ika plan mau na sna?wat problema mo?o c reply duman mo na naman ilalaag!anu nangyari sa prinz na nabsto mi?prinz ika ang nagrayo samu remembr?

girl2 said:  musta prinz? ayos ka pa???tano arog kaito?sori,super late reaction noh.dai mi ika pg invyt?!prmi daw kta ngxxmas party.ano palan si txt ni mimay na wen ka mauli?others lng prinz ang pgiinvyt ta party ta daw ito.tpos arog kaito pig isip mo na dai ka invyted grbe man,arog na kayan pghiling mo samo?grow up palan??ano c gnibo mo?pgblog man lng noh tpos nbsa kang halos gbos.ayos ah.tsk.tsk.tsk.tsk.applause man 4 u.standing ovation pa.hbo ko kuta mag arog kaini,kya lng prinz super foul ka na.disgrace palan?!?!sna napaturog ka sa pgsbi mo. :’(

girl3 said:  sna lng nrealze mo kung gano mo kmi nkulugan sa mga cnbi mo..for the record po,we tried our best to contact u..i even txtd u to confrm if u can mke it to d prty or not..pero u didn’t even rply..& in d 1st plce prnz,weren’t u d 1 hu turnd ur back on us?! evn beggd u na dai mn kaipuhan mgabot sa arog kd2ng point,na maaayos yn in tym..tpos ngnyn,may gana ka p mghina2kit smo dhl lng sa xms prty?kala k hbo m n mki-brkda smo?to tel u honestly,nghina2kit mn kmi kng ngsbi kang masuway k n smo..pero c reaction mi,arog ba kng gnibo mo?bko man di ba!we nevr did anything na ika2raot m s ibng tao!kung may gusto ka kuta isabi,pwde m mn bga kmi icontact..dai na kaipuhan png ibroadcast d ba?s totoo lng,hbo ko na kuta mgpradag2 pa s cnbi nnda bcoz as mch as possble,gs2 ko maayos pa ni.. kya lng we wer rily hurt, so we cant let it pass lng..

girl4 said: thank you sa bday greetings m. dai k nabasa ta 4 sure kasali 2 sa na delete all ko. hinapot ko kung wen ka uli kang dec 4 d saken aram k lang… y pa kaipuhan invitation?! 

honestly, the moment i read their messages, i laughed… not the kind of reaction they might be expecting at that moment… but i just had to laugh it off… it has been months! and i already moved on… i had given it enough thought and enough is enough… i just moved on… for i am now happy with my life,  with my family, with my career, and with my REAL and TRUE friends. 

judging from all their messages which were conveniently similar with each one, they were all focusing about the fact that i was being such a baby of not being "invited" to the annual christmas party… what is this? an episode of gossip girl? that being invited to blair waldorf’s kiss on the lips party is such an important event that i would just kill myself over if i was not invited to take part in it??!! 

but you see, they are missing the point. this is not just about the "uninvited issue", this was about  the whole  FG thing. when the cyberword war broke out between me and D, where were they? i needed friends at that time and yet they fell silent. my rants and opinions fell on deaf ears and i never felt so alone at that point. that instance made me re-think and re-assess the friendship and i decided to leave.

and here they are, sounding high and mighty, telling me what i did was foul and that they got hurt with what i said in my blog… my blog! since when was blogging a crime? what happened to freedom of speech? 

yes, what i said was harsh, but that was what i was feeling at that time. i got hurt too you know… i too am human.

i appreciate all your reactions but it’s just a little too late… just save me the drama.

"It’s often said that no matter the truth, people see what they want to see. Some people might take a step back and find out that they were looking at the same big picture all along. Some people might see that their lies have almost caught up to them. Some people may see what was there all along. And then there are those other people, the ones that run as far as they can so they don’t have to look at themselves. And as for me, I can see clearly now. Xoxo, Gossip Girl."

moving on

the farewell letter i sent my "friends" thru email… getting no reply or whatsoever… not that i was expecting a reply because they have been silent for the longest time. but you see, i took that instance — of them not replying to my email as an understanding. i thought they understood why i needed to leave, at least i thought they understood…

Sent: Saturday, October 27, 2007 10:56:15 AM

to the barkada.. this is not easy for me as it is.. i have thought about this for the longest time since the outburst of emotions at our friendster group.. i guess i was not expecting a reply like that coming from D.. and i didn’t really get to hear all your opinions about the matter.. but i respected everyone, even if i didn’t hear anything from some.. i tried to be as understanding as i could.. still, i longed for your opinions.. i guess i just expected something else..

a lot has been said and i got hurt.. i’m speaking for myself on this matter coz i wanna let you all know what i felt and what i went through.. i just didn’t think that you felt the urgency of the matter.. that it was like, "hey, wait a minute.. garo baga iba na ang pangyayari.. garo baga iba na ini.. something needs to be done.."

all this time, i confided everything to K and she knows how i felt at that time.. yes, i cried.. coz it was slowly dawning on me that things will never be the same.. that a lot has changed, that things were not how it used to be anymore..

i honestly don’t wanna give it up.. i wanted to fix things.. but then i realized, we all are different, we deal with problems differently, we see things in a different light, we cope in our own way.. we interpret things differently as well.. the way i handle things is different from how you deal with yours..

what we all had gone through was something serious.. a matter that we should not have taken lightly.. a lot of people got hurt and i admit that i had been too demanding regarding life updates from each one.. and i am sorry.. truly sorry..

coming up with this decision was more intensified when D posted again.. i dont wanna comment anymore because it aint worth it.. i still respect her as a person and i’d leave it at that..

things will be fixed in time.. but as of now i’m not ready to talk to her.. i have been called a lot of things by other people and i could care less what they think.. they don’t know me.. but if it came from people whom i thought knew me, and people i care about, now that’s something else..

i really don’t need to go into hiatus and try to "find" myself because that’s not me.. at those trying moments i needed friends.. i dont wanna be alone coz i’ll drive myself mad.. i needed people i can talk to and tell me in my face that i did something wrong, or i was out of line, or whatever.. simply put, i needed friends at those times..

thank you for some who have asked me to stay and not leave.. but i realized that it’s better this way.. you’ll no longer be nagged about life updates and stuff like that.. you will no longer be bothered by my ways..

but that doesn’t mean that the friendship ends here.. i keep on telling some of you that i won’t be gone, i won’t cut off the communication.. i’m still gonna be your friend.. you can still confide in me if you got problems.. i’m just here.. and i’ll always be.. the friendship still lives on.. do remember that i will always treasure our barkada moments.. i will miss the endless chika and the annual christmas party among other things..

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!
take care always!


-prinz-

first day high!

april fools!

there, my first day of work and it’s april fools! good thing no one pulled a prank on me, after all, it is my first day.

it went well… i came early… bumped into a friend who also works at PAL and accompanied me all the way to my new office, at least for the whole month of april…

first stop… look for the freakin bundy clock! the guard didn’t give me specific instructions! rarr! so i asked around and an older employee showed me where it is. thank you sir!

then, i found my way to the office and waited for my new boss. she came a few minutes later and gave me a manual to read… the manual was small so i finished reading it in a jiffy… then came more reading materials… since i am a fast-reader, i finished it in no time, not really digesting everything… it is my first day after all.

then she gave me an overview of the policies, the structure, all the basic stuff… then introduced me to everyone… too many names… i can barely remember all of them… oh well, i’ll get to know their names by heart in a few weeks or so… i hope…

my training starts on the 24th of april at the PAL Learning Center in Padre Faura… Manila! rarr! it is too far! and i hate that area! too many people, too many sidewalk vendors, too many everything!!! i will undergo training for almost two months… student life again! haha!

then i am off to makati where i will be permanently assigned… my workmates are okay, some of them funny and accommodating and friendly too! too bad there aren’t any good looking guys in our department! booooooo!!!