moving on

the farewell letter i sent my "friends" thru email… getting no reply or whatsoever… not that i was expecting a reply because they have been silent for the longest time. but you see, i took that instance — of them not replying to my email as an understanding. i thought they understood why i needed to leave, at least i thought they understood…

Sent: Saturday, October 27, 2007 10:56:15 AM

to the barkada.. this is not easy for me as it is.. i have thought about this for the longest time since the outburst of emotions at our friendster group.. i guess i was not expecting a reply like that coming from D.. and i didn’t really get to hear all your opinions about the matter.. but i respected everyone, even if i didn’t hear anything from some.. i tried to be as understanding as i could.. still, i longed for your opinions.. i guess i just expected something else..

a lot has been said and i got hurt.. i’m speaking for myself on this matter coz i wanna let you all know what i felt and what i went through.. i just didn’t think that you felt the urgency of the matter.. that it was like, "hey, wait a minute.. garo baga iba na ang pangyayari.. garo baga iba na ini.. something needs to be done.."

all this time, i confided everything to K and she knows how i felt at that time.. yes, i cried.. coz it was slowly dawning on me that things will never be the same.. that a lot has changed, that things were not how it used to be anymore..

i honestly don’t wanna give it up.. i wanted to fix things.. but then i realized, we all are different, we deal with problems differently, we see things in a different light, we cope in our own way.. we interpret things differently as well.. the way i handle things is different from how you deal with yours..

what we all had gone through was something serious.. a matter that we should not have taken lightly.. a lot of people got hurt and i admit that i had been too demanding regarding life updates from each one.. and i am sorry.. truly sorry..

coming up with this decision was more intensified when D posted again.. i dont wanna comment anymore because it aint worth it.. i still respect her as a person and i’d leave it at that..

things will be fixed in time.. but as of now i’m not ready to talk to her.. i have been called a lot of things by other people and i could care less what they think.. they don’t know me.. but if it came from people whom i thought knew me, and people i care about, now that’s something else..

i really don’t need to go into hiatus and try to "find" myself because that’s not me.. at those trying moments i needed friends.. i dont wanna be alone coz i’ll drive myself mad.. i needed people i can talk to and tell me in my face that i did something wrong, or i was out of line, or whatever.. simply put, i needed friends at those times..

thank you for some who have asked me to stay and not leave.. but i realized that it’s better this way.. you’ll no longer be nagged about life updates and stuff like that.. you will no longer be bothered by my ways..

but that doesn’t mean that the friendship ends here.. i keep on telling some of you that i won’t be gone, i won’t cut off the communication.. i’m still gonna be your friend.. you can still confide in me if you got problems.. i’m just here.. and i’ll always be.. the friendship still lives on.. do remember that i will always treasure our barkada moments.. i will miss the endless chika and the annual christmas party among other things..

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!
take care always!


-prinz-