at a crossroad

As I battle it out with the pros and cons of my decision to take on this new job, conveniently placed in front of me complete with a hefty package of the bright and promising future, I find myself at a crossroad. Of course there is no doubt that I really want to leave my current job – all 101% of it! It’s just that, is this really the job I want? Do I see myself in this company five years from now? Will there be career growth? Too many questions… so little time… so far, only these words come out of my mouth: “I don’t know…”

I know it may sound not that difficult but honestly, if placed in this kind of situation… it is indeed confusing!

Yes, it is a bit open-ended… but you see… there are also a lot of factors to worry about… if not for the fact that someone has to pay the bills back at home and totally support the family, then I wouldn’t be even considering this job offer. My eldest brother has been supporting the family back home but since he also has his own family to support, half of that responsibility will fall on my tiny shoulders… reality check… I am now responsible for taking care of the family. So being the single daughter, I am expected to take on that responsibility which motivated me to look for another job in the first place!

Yesterday was one of the longest days of my life! Patience is indeed a virtue! I’ve waited like forever just to get to that job offer! For some, it would be worth it… but for me, there’s still uncertainty. Am I ready for that kind of life? Adjustment, transition, will be hard. I shall subject myself to nocturnal-ism… turning my night into day and my day into night! I shall miss all the parties and more parties that we will have… and the weekend getaways… but then again, my family needs me and it’s about time that I really take care of them. By “really take care”, I mean, financial support every month… it’s like rent or utility bills! You have to pay up and on time! Wwwaaaaahhhh! Responsibilities! Love ‘em or hate ‘em!

The question is: SHOULD I STAY or SHOULD I GO?

The dysfunctional family says GO! Wherever I think I will be happy… then that’s where I should be.

Joyce says: Yey! Highest paid na si Prinz! So, nuarin kita ma-Starbucks?!

Ariane says: Tama yan! Ako naman ang bahugon nindo!(since she IS the highest paid housemate)

And I say… hhhhmmmmm… (still thinking)

If I really think about it, it’s a no brainer… GO! Grab it! It’s my ticket to a bright future! Hmmm, but it’s a night job! So scratch that… towards a brightly lit future! You will be well compensated. If your health fails you, you have enough money to pay for medicines! And the company covers it!

Sounds good right? You bet!

How long will I last? As long as I can!

Am I ready to give up my current lifestyle? If I have to… I think I can…

Life is hard… whoever said it’s easy is a freaking liar!

I need to discern… there’s a whole lot of thinking to be done! Help me Lord!