the future UNCERTAIN…

when i was still in college, i used to think that after i graduate, companies would come, begging me to be with them and their job offer. i used to dream about it, not that i know it won’t happen to me, but because i know it will… someday…

but when i ventured and made my way to the real world… job offers here and there isn’t close to reality at all! as far as i am concerned, that only happens to those who are really well-experienced in their line of work… i’d never thought that i’d see the day…

i just came from an interview with PAL and i made it through! it was like a dream slowly coming true! of course i still have to undergo the medical examination, an excruciating process because it’s really strict!

with JPMorgan, they are waiting for my requirements so that they can completely process my application… it is a sure ball! 

now, i am confused! it’s a choice between the sure thing and the not-so sure thing… either one i choose, i believe my future will be in good hands… but… it’s puzzling… i literally don’t know what to do! and this is giving me a migraine! 

give me a SIGN!

**warning: mahaba-habang pagbabasa ahead**

After that momentous one-day processing down to the job offer at 10pm at the very least, with a fairly promising package and energy-powered bright future at an international bank, I asked, even prayed for a sign if this is indeed the career for me. I have already announced my resignation at my present job and I’m currently preparing the needed requirements. At this point, I am still at a crossroad and I am slowly pushed to insanity… and just yesterday, I am determined to go through with this decision. Go for the energy-powered bright future and be with the likes of Vampire Lestat and Count Dracula! (It is a night job by the way)… I also know that it would provide me career growth, I may start from an entry-level position but I’m not gonna be choosy in that aspect. If working internationally would be the incentive/benefit of all the hard work, then it’s fine with me! After all, it’s either that or none at all… if you know what I mean. Of course the family is very supportive, never mind if I work on weekends or on holidays, as long as I will be happy, then I should go for it!

Still, I am a bit apprehensive… I know I can take on the challenge but I am exactly not sure if I’ll be happy… I won’t know until I get there… and experience it for myself. Of course, if it is a choice between my present job and that soon-to-be job, I’d choose (without a freaking doubt) the latter. I am no longer happy here (present job) and I feel my brain getting stagnant as each day passes! It’s like doing my OJT back at Naga! Haha! I hate being unproductive and it’s driving me mad! So there… wooozzaaah!

Last night, I still prayed. I am at an abyss… don’t ask me why but it’s just what I’m feeling lately. It is so confusing and I’m having a migraine… moving along, I specifically asked the higher power for a sign! To help me assert my impending decision of accepting formally the job offer of the international bank… and I dozed off.

Morning came, and nothing out of the ordinary happened. If there were signs, I barely noticed because: number one, I am running late as I quickly paced along Kamuning Road; number two, I hated the bystanders along the road who had nothing else to do except be their maniac selves, so I concentrated on my fast paced-walking; and lastly, I was busy planning what I would have to do for the entire day (which is not so many by the way). 

After having lunch with my freelance co-workers, I remembered I needed to pay for the top I ordered at multiply. So I headed for the bank, quick stop at the office to grab my trusty umbrella since it was drizzling a bit. There I was, my second trip to the bank (the first trip was to deposit just half of the amount of the top, as stated in her site, but then it turned out I can have it fully paid since it has stocks on hand! I wasted another 50 bucks for the transfer! Rarr!), my phone started to play ANTM’s theme (my current ring tone), I had it in silent mode since I know cellphones are not allowed in banks… but there was the call again… persistent… so I answered… never mind if I get scolded! I was multi-tasking! Doing the transaction with the bank teller and at the same time talking on the phone…

It turned out, the manager of a certain department in PAL was wondering if I was still considering a job with them. In confusion, I asked what position was I being considered for? It has been a month since my panel interview and having a lot in my mind, I just needed to ask. I guess it slipped my mind… it was the MRA position (Membership Relations Associate) wherein I would be dealing with the Mabuhay Miles members or frequent flyers of PAL.

All senses came to a halt and then quickly boosted back! A lot of things were running in my head! My brain cells took flight and I asked when the interview would be. The caller still can’t give me a definite time since it has yet to be scheduled. I know my future with PAL is something I have dreamt since after graduation and I quickly failed miserably… not because I am incompetent, but my lungs needed some rest. So right now, the only dilemma I am worrying about is that, am I medically fit to take on that job? I know I feel healthy but that’s not for me to decide… the medical examination will…

I asked her (the manager) how many candidates were there? Because I know for a fact that they only have one slot for the position, and I am also considering another job offer. I stand corrected, there were now two slots. She asked me again if I wanted the job or not so she could endorse me for an interview with the AVP. Not wanting to resist and because I also want that job, I said yes. She said she’ll call me back for the interview schedule.

My mind was racing, I do not know what to do! I quickly sent my friends a text message about my dilemma… I needed advice! My friend, Ariane, called. I told her the news and she was ecstatic! She also works at PAL and they were not aware of this latest development. As the friend that she is, her advice was simple: Go for the one that I really want and where l will grow (career-wise)…

It must have been a sign! Ano ba talaga Lord? Sa PAL na nga ba? O sa JPMorgan Chase Bank? Either way, if it is for me, then it is for me…

I was driving myself insane since the requirements for the international bank should be passed within this week, and I’m not sure I can wait for another week or month for that interview with PAL! Knowing PAL, matagal-tagal na hintayan na naman itoh!

At that moment, I am hoping for a miracle! Then she called back… I have an interview with the AVP scheduled for tomorrow…  that must be THE sign!

I maybe be creeped out by all the developments taking place today… but, I have my future to worry about and this is, as Joyz had said in her text message, a BIG LEAP! Things happen for a reason… And, as Ariane had said, A RISK that I have to take… it’s all about taking risks and reaping rewards after!

I just want a secure and happy future… so… goodluck SELF! Kick some AVP ass tomorrow! Rock that interview!

star light, star bright, where the heck is mr. right?

oh yes, another year, another valentines had come to pass…

we are all saved from the storm of scarlet hearts, downpour of chocolates, gusts of flowers, and thunderbolts of love songs…

how was my hearts day? (do you really have to ask? ) for a single lass like me? oh… i was around, i spent it with my friends, and doing something nice for them… after all, it is friendship day! (at least for me… hehe!;)) i really should start calling the 14th of february — singles’ awareness day! i think it’s a new trend nowadays, single people everywhere call valentines day just that! and i somehow see their point…

as i tried browsing through the blogs of my single friends… here’s what they have to say about hearts day:

junie says: don’t be unfair guys, it’s not a day for single people to fit in. there is so much love to give for friends and family. we don’t need to date. we can date tomorrow or never at all. ha.

cheska says: Happy Valen..erm. no. Happy Singles’ Awareness day… ANYWAY. WHO CARES? I am bitter, sad and lonely but at least i still have friends. i think. i hope. HAHA.

joyce says: Dedicated to the love shittyness that is about to take over this month. Studies showed that the rate of mortality elevates on the 14th.

so i am not entirely alone on this love month buzz and valen-times turned out pretty well… i think…

i tried matchmaking! forthe first time in my life, i took a shot at the matchmaking bonanza… haha! it is indeed a lot of fun to try your luck on hooking up two common friends… now i know what it feels like to be Alexis… haha!

you see, i used to be the subject of every blind date or "pakilala" or "reto-reto" of friends (i even tried speed dating for crying out loud ), since i am soooo picky and choosy when it comes to guys i wanna date… hehe… and they all think it’s about time i get to have a boyfriend! yup… it is weird though… they all want to see me in a relationship… hey, wait a minute, what’s wrong with being single? and satisfied, if i may add??! hmm, i guess if you’re the type of person who is the pioneer of the "no boyfriend since birth" club, like me for instance, then friends tend to worry… awww… guys… i am touched… really… i am…

so i met up with my friend who came all the way from nagaland to visit us and since she is single and available and searching, i arranged a date/"pakilala" thing with another acquaintance (we’re not that close pa kasi) with my housemate’s co-employee, who is also single and available and searching… a bit weird for me since it’s a first… but it turned out pretty well.

you see, my friend, let’s call her Blair, is pure chinese… and as far as tradition goes, it is best to hook up with fellow chinese people in terms of relationships. don’t ask me why but that’s something only they can understand… it’s a culture thing and i respect that… and the acquaintance, let’s call him Nate, is, according to him 7/8s chinese (i don’t know about you, but i hate fractions! )… his dad is pure chinese and his mom is 3/4 chinese… so add that up, it’s 7/8! (whatever! he’s in audit so he’s good with numbers! no arguments here! hehe!)

and i think they hit it off pretty well! i am glad! with the exchange pa of the crepes they ordered… (kasi bawal si B ng alcohol, her order has a touch of rum so palit na lng sila ni N)

my booboos as the first time matchmaker (sorry na, i’m new at it eh):

1. interrupting at their convo.. coz i thought they were talking about a person i also knew.. i stand corrected.. and with me saying: "ok.. don’t mind me.. i’ll eat na lang my food.." (ay! kaherak! )
2. do not argue with B and N as to where to go… if they wanna go to tomas morato, then let them… after all, it’s their date… let them be! (kasi naman, chaperone pala ako… sori na.. haha! i forgot!)
3. don’t let the convo drift to a topic that is not related to them… like for instance, having them talk about you and assess your single-hood… (halloo.. chaperone nga o.. do talk about yourselves kasi… do not mind the matchmaker! i’m at peace with my crepe over here. rarr! hehe!)
4. if the guy hints and asks if you need to go to the restroom, go to the restroom! even if you don’t have to… coz it might turn out the guy wants to ask for your friend’s number and is a bit embarassed if you’re there… (pasensya, dapat kasi you told me something like: "di ba you need to use the restroom? di ba?" really stressing on ‘DI BA’ … i could have gotten that hint…)
5. make an excuse not to go on their "first" date… even if masama na ang tingin sa’yo ng friend mo… haha! fake a headache or something… (para naman mas maka-bwelo yung guy.. haha!)
   

thanks B! thanks N! thanks for the enchilada and the crepe! i was sooo full! hehe!

so there… my first ever matchmaking trip on valen-times!  N was really glad to meet B! according to him, B is sooo okay… and that she’s really mabait and he instantly felt comfy with her! looks like sparks did fly on that particular date! i love et! way to go B!

happy hearts!!! xoxo!!! 

at a crossroad

As I battle it out with the pros and cons of my decision to take on this new job, conveniently placed in front of me complete with a hefty package of the bright and promising future, I find myself at a crossroad. Of course there is no doubt that I really want to leave my current job – all 101% of it! It’s just that, is this really the job I want? Do I see myself in this company five years from now? Will there be career growth? Too many questions… so little time… so far, only these words come out of my mouth: “I don’t know…”

I know it may sound not that difficult but honestly, if placed in this kind of situation… it is indeed confusing!

Yes, it is a bit open-ended… but you see… there are also a lot of factors to worry about… if not for the fact that someone has to pay the bills back at home and totally support the family, then I wouldn’t be even considering this job offer. My eldest brother has been supporting the family back home but since he also has his own family to support, half of that responsibility will fall on my tiny shoulders… reality check… I am now responsible for taking care of the family. So being the single daughter, I am expected to take on that responsibility which motivated me to look for another job in the first place!

Yesterday was one of the longest days of my life! Patience is indeed a virtue! I’ve waited like forever just to get to that job offer! For some, it would be worth it… but for me, there’s still uncertainty. Am I ready for that kind of life? Adjustment, transition, will be hard. I shall subject myself to nocturnal-ism… turning my night into day and my day into night! I shall miss all the parties and more parties that we will have… and the weekend getaways… but then again, my family needs me and it’s about time that I really take care of them. By “really take care”, I mean, financial support every month… it’s like rent or utility bills! You have to pay up and on time! Wwwaaaaahhhh! Responsibilities! Love ‘em or hate ‘em!

The question is: SHOULD I STAY or SHOULD I GO?

The dysfunctional family says GO! Wherever I think I will be happy… then that’s where I should be.

Joyce says: Yey! Highest paid na si Prinz! So, nuarin kita ma-Starbucks?!

Ariane says: Tama yan! Ako naman ang bahugon nindo!(since she IS the highest paid housemate)

And I say… hhhhmmmmm… (still thinking)

If I really think about it, it’s a no brainer… GO! Grab it! It’s my ticket to a bright future! Hmmm, but it’s a night job! So scratch that… towards a brightly lit future! You will be well compensated. If your health fails you, you have enough money to pay for medicines! And the company covers it!

Sounds good right? You bet!

How long will I last? As long as I can!

Am I ready to give up my current lifestyle? If I have to… I think I can…

Life is hard… whoever said it’s easy is a freaking liar!

I need to discern… there’s a whole lot of thinking to be done! Help me Lord!

the crimson month

Ahhh… yes… it’s that time of the year wherein you are engulfed in nostalgic scarlet hearts, mushy love songs, creamy chocolates (hmmm…. I love chocolates!), sickening romantic aura that emanates from almost everyone and the splash of red in almost every public establishment! Who would have thought that too much red can be such an eyesore? It’s that or I am just tired of staring at my red table that I have grown tired of this color… I was never really a fan of this “romantic” occasion not because I managed to stay single my whole life, but all the love in the air is a bit suffocating… don’t’ you think? A lil bit overrated I guess…

Ways to spend the Hearts Day: if you’re SINGLE and lovin’ it! (at least on my part! Hehe!)

1)       Gather up all your fellow single friends and hit the nearest bar/club and dance the night away! Who says SINGLES on Valentines Day can’t have fun?!

2)       Try Speed Dating or go out on a blind date! You never know… Cupid might hit you with his arrow!

3)       Declare a SPA-ruary day! Treat yourself to that soothing massage, relaxing foot spa, manicure and pedicure that you’ve been raving about, or better yet, get a full makeover!

4)       Watch a cool concert! Every foreign artist known to man is coming to town! All you have to do is pick!

5)       If you’re in the mood to mope and wallow because of your social status, just get yourself a DVD and watch Serendipity or Lake House with a big bowl of your favorite ice cream. Or skip the romance DVD kind and watch a comedy flick instead! There’s nothing like a good ol’ laugh to brighten your day!

Nevertheless, how you spend your Valentines Day is up to you. As for me, I have always spent this day with my friends! And it has been a bit of a tradition for us that Hearts Day is our own excuse to celebrate our friendship over the years! Cheers!