patayin sa sindak…

Though I am not much of a fan of scary, horror movies or television series, I still find it amusing to watch. Or maybe I just need a dose of such to conquer a fear. Of course I believe in spirits, ghosts, elements, and other unseen forces that just creeps the hell out of all of us… but you see, I have friends who can actually see dead people even if they’re awake and in broad daylight.

As for me, I can’t see dead people! Thank God! But I see them in my sleep though… scary and creepy as it may seem, but I’d rather have them in my nightmares rather than in my broad daylight routine… when I’m actually awake…

Whenever I am new to a place… I get to have that certain vibe… I feel things… I don’t know, it might be something innate but when your gut tells you that you are not alone, it’s actually an 80 – 90% chance that your gut is precisely correct.

When I moved in at the condo with my friends, the first few days I can’t get to will myself to sleep. I would usually have this weird dreams or rather nightmares of a kid haunting me. Of course, I didn’t pay much attention to it, knowing if I ask my roommates, I wouldn’t like the answer at all. But then, reoccurrence of such disturbing dreams had gotten the best of me, and so I asked… and there it was. A spirit is within our midst… calling the closet his home.

There was this one time, when all of us were watching television, and then the closet’s door suddenly sprang open. Knowing that the closet door was closed when that happened (coz we always close it), and all of us were on the bed and our hands are so far away from the closet, and of course the wind didn’t do it either since the window is tightly shut… so what could be the possible explanation for that one? So we all looked at each other, trying to psych each one that something paranormal has actually happened. And so we ignored it, there was no point of scaring ourselves over something we don’t actually see.

Later on, we came to know that the spirit just wanna come out the closet and play. Our friend told us that he came out with a mischievous grin in his face. Uh-huh… way to go kid! You got us! Haha! Sheesh!

And so there… one disturbing dream I had was that – there was this boy who came out of the closet and watched as a girl with long hair in a white robe came crawling out of the closet as well and made her way towards me. She was grasping my wrist tightly… and does it help if I tell you that she looks like Samara? Yup! Some dream I had! As she was grasping my wrist (a bit too tight, by the way), she was leading me out the front door and she kept on telling me this: “You can never let us leave this place… you can never drive us out of here…” (take note: she was speaking to me in English!) or something like that… point is, they’re staying and we can’t do anything about it. I’m telling you, it was so real that I can feel the warmth of her hand on my wrist. I woke up and I found myself alone in the room, closet doors open, all my roommates had gone to work. It was still early and I wanted to get some more sleep, but then again, I didn’t because I might have that freaking dream again.

I told my friend, coz I know there was only one spirit in the house… and then she confirmed it! Goosebumps all over my body! Damn! And then there were actually two… freaky! So I spent some restless nights, counting on my headphones to lull me to sleep. But some nights get more creepy than usual… I woke up in the middle of the night for some reason, I didn’t need to go to the bathroom or whatever but I woke up. And I wasn’t even dreaming, I wish I was, but I wasn’t. And there it was, a shadow of a little boy at the foot of the bed… gazing… just gazing… I shut my eyes and prayed. That was creepy!

So you see, they do exist but there will always be a way to co-exist peacefully. So now, I try to get to bed early… coz just last week, I saw the girl again near the computer table… her white robe glistening in the dark room, she had her back on me and I gazed a bit longer than I intended… realizing what I’ve done, I closed my eyes and prayed again that I fall instantly asleep.

my plea

just when you thought nobody cares… somebody actually does! boohoo…

oh well, life is a b*tch and we’re all f*cked up one way or another… this week has been a week of pursuing a whole new path… from which my future is still uncertain… eyeing that silver lining… coz who knows? it might be my ticket to salvation! call me desperate or simply pitiful… i really do need a job… and i for sure HE knows that i badly need one, but i do think he wants me to suffer a bit. after all, you can’t have everything you want unless you really deserve it right? hmmm… thus the dilemma…

adding up to the drama is the fact that i work with people who are my friend’s relatives, so whatever it is that i do or haven’t done gets announced within their family circle, and frankly i don’t want my friend and her family being caught in the middle of all this bullsh*t…

so there i was, having a peaceful dinner and my friend told me she just got scolded by her cousin because i wasn’t informing the freaking office as to my whereabouts… awwww… i didn’t know they were that concerned… much less care where i was… hmmm… who knows? they might actually miss me, coz they really can’t figure out how to use microsoft excel! damn these people!

this week has been spent undergoing interviews, exams, and panel interviews for PAL, so i really can’t tell them exactly where i was, right? if things will turn for the worse, i think i’d rather go to the nearest call center and apply… goodness! i can’t take this anymore! but i did inform them that i was sick and i can’t come to the office. why would they always turn it into something that i did — is such a horrible thing? like i’m being such an irresponsible brat or something? which is soooo not true! see… the people i work with? it is definitely torture and i’ll probably kill myself if i stay longer… dammit! suddenly, my work isn’t that exciting anymore…

insanity taking over… i might turn into sweeney todd! god forbid! 

gossip girl craze

Glamorous (Constance Billard Choir)

right after holiday vacation, i was introduced to this new tv series, wherein ariane (my roomie) was practically swooning over chace crawford or his character in the series or BOTH! i gotta tell you, there's nothing like hot, gorgeous guys getting my full attention! rarr!

so i watched the pilot episode, then the next few episodes… and just like heroes, i was instantly hooked! it is sooo interesting, considering the hottest scoop on Manhattan's upper east side elites! and you got to love all that drama! i mean, who wouldn't?

quite superficial in more ways than i can imagine, makes me step back and think if something like that will ever happen in real life… or if there is such a thing… but you know what? it works! it actually works! nevertheless, it is a fun series to watch!

good girl gone bad, sleeping with bestfriend's boyfriend/girlfriend, plotting one's destruction in under a minute, eating disorders, dad leaving mom for another man, things you do to belong, crazy ways to protect the family, secret rendezvous, high stakes gambling, adjusting to a dysfunctional family, manipulation… these are just some of the things our characters are dealing with…

kindda too much to handle for high school students, right? well not just ordinary high school students but Upper East Side's elite high school students…

let me introduce you to gossip girl's favorite subjects: 

Serena van der Woodsen (S) - ironically, a good friend but there's still more to her than meets the eye

Blair Waldorf (B) - the most popular girl in school, complete with her own posse, and a wardrobe enough to dress entire Manhattan

Nathaniel Archibald (Nate) - B's boyfriend… hot, gorgeous… need i say more?

Charles Bass (Chuck) - his scarf is his signature… more of a bad boy that only wants nothing but to please his dad… Nate's bestfriend… he loves booze and would practically sleep with any woman or girl… you get the picture?

Dan Humphrey (Lonely Boy) - has had the biggest crush on S since, i don't know, forever? he is witty and down right charming in his own little way, and can practically blab about anything…

Jenny Humphrey (little J) - Blair's new toy, a neophyte… will do almost anything for B… too sad… oh well, she is a freshman…

sex… lies… scandals… friendships… it's a little bit of everything, all rolled into one show…

gossip girl theme

and then there were three…

so the condo is one member short… as joyce and i came back from nagaland, our very own bax had already moved out… she is no longer…

no longer with us… so to speak… well, i hadn't thought that she'll instantly move out, i was thinking she'll be staying for a week or so… but there you go, surprise… surprise… welcome to 2008!

to those who are speculating as to why our former roomie left… with speculations like:

    a) we, being the mean-iest (if there's such a word) girls ever (duh?! as if!), kicked her out of the         house, an eviction, if you can call it that…

    b) she had enough of us that she packed her things and left

    c)  she's leaving the country and not coming back… or something like that

well, sorry to burst your bubble people! it seems like we're not mean girls after all! screw you for thinking such thought! rarr! hmpf!

she left because she needed to… not that we're too much to handle… or was she too much to handle? well, nothing of that sort. it was a voluntary exit, if you know what i mean… aside from financial woes, she also needs to do this for herself as preparation for independent living, if she pursues a career in singapore.

we're all good friends though, we still get together from time to time… 

so right now, we're delegating chores among the three of us… sad to say, but we adjusted pretty fast! haha! no offense to bax…

silver lining

since december last year, i had been telling myself that i need a new job badly! at the back of my head, i know i can't pursue the events industry if i wanna think about my long term plans or goals for that matter.

so here i am… i found myself applying for yet another position at PAL… i tell you… i am becoming a regular applicant… i've gone through two impact interviews, various written exams, to date, two panel interviews…

and now i am here at PAL's placement office, retaking an exam… just to see if i will pass or not.. apparently, i passed the impact interview last monday… and i'm up for panel interview tomorrow… jitters… i really don't know what to expect, whether i pass or not… one of my friends wasn't so lucky… she applied for the same job, and she failed a certain exam…

if i do pass the panel interview, medical exam will still prove to be the most challenging of all! so i'm not really getting my hopes up on this one… after all, expect for the worst right?

i still wanna see that silver lining… have it within my grasp… or holding it for that matter before i rejoice or celebrate…

as joyce would always say… "if it's for you… if it's for you…"

make any sense? haha! only us can understand… are you one of us?