patayin sa sindak…

Though I am not much of a fan of scary, horror movies or television series, I still find it amusing to watch. Or maybe I just need a dose of such to conquer a fear. Of course I believe in spirits, ghosts, elements, and other unseen forces that just creeps the hell out of all of us… but you see, I have friends who can actually see dead people even if they’re awake and in broad daylight.

As for me, I can’t see dead people! Thank God! But I see them in my sleep though… scary and creepy as it may seem, but I’d rather have them in my nightmares rather than in my broad daylight routine… when I’m actually awake…

Whenever I am new to a place… I get to have that certain vibe… I feel things… I don’t know, it might be something innate but when your gut tells you that you are not alone, it’s actually an 80 – 90% chance that your gut is precisely correct.

When I moved in at the condo with my friends, the first few days I can’t get to will myself to sleep. I would usually have this weird dreams or rather nightmares of a kid haunting me. Of course, I didn’t pay much attention to it, knowing if I ask my roommates, I wouldn’t like the answer at all. But then, reoccurrence of such disturbing dreams had gotten the best of me, and so I asked… and there it was. A spirit is within our midst… calling the closet his home.

There was this one time, when all of us were watching television, and then the closet’s door suddenly sprang open. Knowing that the closet door was closed when that happened (coz we always close it), and all of us were on the bed and our hands are so far away from the closet, and of course the wind didn’t do it either since the window is tightly shut… so what could be the possible explanation for that one? So we all looked at each other, trying to psych each one that something paranormal has actually happened. And so we ignored it, there was no point of scaring ourselves over something we don’t actually see.

Later on, we came to know that the spirit just wanna come out the closet and play. Our friend told us that he came out with a mischievous grin in his face. Uh-huh… way to go kid! You got us! Haha! Sheesh!

And so there… one disturbing dream I had was that – there was this boy who came out of the closet and watched as a girl with long hair in a white robe came crawling out of the closet as well and made her way towards me. She was grasping my wrist tightly… and does it help if I tell you that she looks like Samara? Yup! Some dream I had! As she was grasping my wrist (a bit too tight, by the way), she was leading me out the front door and she kept on telling me this: “You can never let us leave this place… you can never drive us out of here…” (take note: she was speaking to me in English!) or something like that… point is, they’re staying and we can’t do anything about it. I’m telling you, it was so real that I can feel the warmth of her hand on my wrist. I woke up and I found myself alone in the room, closet doors open, all my roommates had gone to work. It was still early and I wanted to get some more sleep, but then again, I didn’t because I might have that freaking dream again.

I told my friend, coz I know there was only one spirit in the house… and then she confirmed it! Goosebumps all over my body! Damn! And then there were actually two… freaky! So I spent some restless nights, counting on my headphones to lull me to sleep. But some nights get more creepy than usual… I woke up in the middle of the night for some reason, I didn’t need to go to the bathroom or whatever but I woke up. And I wasn’t even dreaming, I wish I was, but I wasn’t. And there it was, a shadow of a little boy at the foot of the bed… gazing… just gazing… I shut my eyes and prayed. That was creepy!

So you see, they do exist but there will always be a way to co-exist peacefully. So now, I try to get to bed early… coz just last week, I saw the girl again near the computer table… her white robe glistening in the dark room, she had her back on me and I gazed a bit longer than I intended… realizing what I’ve done, I closed my eyes and prayed again that I fall instantly asleep.

my plea

just when you thought nobody cares… somebody actually does! boohoo…

oh well, life is a b*tch and we’re all f*cked up one way or another… this week has been a week of pursuing a whole new path… from which my future is still uncertain… eyeing that silver lining… coz who knows? it might be my ticket to salvation! call me desperate or simply pitiful… i really do need a job… and i for sure HE knows that i badly need one, but i do think he wants me to suffer a bit. after all, you can’t have everything you want unless you really deserve it right? hmmm… thus the dilemma…

adding up to the drama is the fact that i work with people who are my friend’s relatives, so whatever it is that i do or haven’t done gets announced within their family circle, and frankly i don’t want my friend and her family being caught in the middle of all this bullsh*t…

so there i was, having a peaceful dinner and my friend told me she just got scolded by her cousin because i wasn’t informing the freaking office as to my whereabouts… awwww… i didn’t know they were that concerned… much less care where i was… hmmm… who knows? they might actually miss me, coz they really can’t figure out how to use microsoft excel! damn these people!

this week has been spent undergoing interviews, exams, and panel interviews for PAL, so i really can’t tell them exactly where i was, right? if things will turn for the worse, i think i’d rather go to the nearest call center and apply… goodness! i can’t take this anymore! but i did inform them that i was sick and i can’t come to the office. why would they always turn it into something that i did — is such a horrible thing? like i’m being such an irresponsible brat or something? which is soooo not true! see… the people i work with? it is definitely torture and i’ll probably kill myself if i stay longer… dammit! suddenly, my work isn’t that exciting anymore…

insanity taking over… i might turn into sweeney todd! god forbid!