it’s raining men (or boys)! chapter 1

Introduction

A friend of mine requested a certain topic (for my blog) that he thinks I should talk about and would be really interesting (on his part). And that topic is boys. I know it is rather soooo high school as I would tell him, but what the heck. I guess he is really that interested with my love life or maybe he just wanna dish it out of me so he could torment me in the very near future… like tomorrow maybe? Haha! Bring it on!

As far as I can remember, if my memory serves me correctly, I think I had my very first crush when I was still in grade school. I have this seatmate in third grade class who brings binoculars and spies on the boys in the nearby all-boys school. She had told me about her crush. Hmmm… crush?! Wasn’t that supposed to be a verb? Wherein you turn something into little pieces or something like that? Yup! I was kindda confused. What is this crush? Ahhh… the seatmate, in all her strength, gathered up the information or rather words that could perfectly define the word. She must have thought I’m so clueless, to the point that it was pathetic. Hey! How should I know? I still am a kid!

And there, as she defined it… someone really good-looking, someone you like from the opposite sex, someone whose appearance is pleasing to the eyes. I guess attraction does play an essential role on this one. But I really could care less about it… all I care back then were games and toys and those high grades… what can I say? I was driven to be the best in my class (academically-speaking) just because all the teachers notice were my well-off classmates who got silver spoons in their mouths. I was never picked for those on-stage performances and important roles in any activity! I guess some of my teachers were also suck ups! Bad teachers! Bad teachers! Hmm… sad but true…

High school came and everything was different. Everyone sees to it that they look their best or rather at least presentable. The wonders of this tool called ‘comb’ really amazed me! Haha! Back in grade school, I was not really into tying ribbons around my hair or a hundred brush strokes before going to sleep or that sort of thing. After all, I grew up with two brothers, I played boy games and ran around with my brothers. I guess I was indeed a slob! Hahaha! But once you entered puberty, you get to be more conscious of your appearance, so you take time to get dressed and get ready for school.

And then suddenly, guys took notice. Damn! All of a sudden guys are everywhere… good-looking guys, unfortunate guys (unfortunate meaning those guys who are not endowed with good looks), nice guys, conceited guys, players, gay guys, bisexual guys… you name it! Even tomboys never failed to make a scene! Haha! High school… tsk tsk… and the life I’ve lived during those years…

This blog is divided into chapters… so far I have four chapters… or maybe five… I’ll post each chapter one day at a time so as not to strain thy eyes… enjoy!

~***~

Chapter One

Seventh grade: met SKATERBOI… u-huh! Really, really cute! His house was just a few steps away from our house. Whew! Neighbors! Your classic teen flick movie setting of some sort… we both liked each other, the phone calls (cellphones weren’t a trend yet but cordless phones were! Haha!), the conversations, we see each other often (we’re neighbors!), the “kilig” moments…  the downside of that was, he was younger than me (two years younger to be exact)… I was in high school, he was in grade school… and when the time came he told me how he felt, I was confused. Who knows? It must have been puppy love or something… and then he stopped calling. He thought I didn’t feel the same way… (I just learned about it when I was already in college) and I thought he stopped because he has found someone else… SKATERBOI was one of my biggest regrets… but wait! There’s more! It hit me like a major slap in the face! SKATERBOI turned his attention to my good friend. If he hadn’t courted me, my friend could have given in. She was torn and I could see that she liked him too. So they ended up becoming best of friends… or so I thought… and then one night, I cried. He was such a waste! After all, he was really good-looking and kind and nice and… (I’ll stop right there) SKATERBOI was the only boy I shed my tears to… even got my brothers worried… hahaha! I love et!

Still in seventh grade, I met BALLER… she is a he… a boy trapped in a girl’s body… yup! It is weird! Eeeeeeewwwww! She plays ball, and was also “decelerated” (not a brainy one, I guess), and she used to be a student at our school. She has had a lot of girlfriends at our school and she thought I can be her next victim. Well, too bad! I wasn’t into something like that! Talk about eeewness and yucky-ness! She even called at our house once or twice, though I didn’t curse or say bad words back then, out of utter annoyance, I cursed her! Threatened her even, if she ever called the house again! And that was the end of it! Whew! Thank God!

Met SKYSCRAPER, he was really tall and the same age as SKATERBOI (I seem to attract the younger ones at this point). He was my friend’s cousin and we were kindda hitting it off that summer. But once summer was over, the friendship ceased. He went back to Laguna or somewhere, I have forgotten where he came from. Haha!

And there were still in-betweens, boys and boy-ish girls alike, although I may have forgotten their names and their faces. Haha! I can’t keep track! Or I think they were worth to be forgotten anyway.

rooftop trip

There we were, all three of us… at the rooftop, enjoying the chilly breeze, with tequila rose and popcorn as our companion, we caught up with the latest happenings and events that took place that weekend.

Friday night was of course the kick-off party of the year, celebrating four birthdays so far. Hai was jam-packed with party people and everyone had an absolutely amazing time! We literally danced the night away, never mind if I was wearing high-heeled shoes (all three inches of added height!). Imagine me, doing the low-low-low dance, grinding with my fellow girlfriends and with those shoes… ooooohhhh, those killer shoes! I’m kindda surprised I didn’t get sprained ankles after that! Haha! The avatars were great! I missed our Antipolo escapades! Til next time avatars! Ate H never failed to crack us up everytime! With three Singapore Slings in her system, I was amazed she can still do the flexi dance – Rihanna style! She gave me a fright! I thought she’ll slip and fall! But she didn’t! She’s the flexi gymnast! Cheers to yah ate H! Ate A, Ate D, Ate J and Ate H were the bomb! They could still pass as women in their late 20s! The avatars rock!!!

Saturday was a bum day. We slept all day! We had nothing to do, and since we’re all broke, we never left the house. We bummed around, watching television, sleeping, surfing the net, and more sleeping! It was boring, I know, but there was nothing left to do!

Sunday was still a bum day… my housemates woke up at almost two in the afternoon. We ate, watched television, surfed the net, and watched some more television. Still a bore but we headed for the rooftop for a nightcap…

 
Here’s a thought: For all those who got boyfriends – what would you do if your guy is still good friends with his ex?

Hmmm… in my own point of view, speaking as a member of NBSB (no boyfriend since birth) club… well, the best thing to do is to be-friend the ex. There’s no point in waging war against her, after all, they’ve put their past behind and everything’s settled. And besides, it won’t be a good thing if his friends see you as an insecure girlfriend, getting jealous over no reason is a bit pathetic don’t you think? Instead, put your differences aside, and work your way in getting along with the ex. Who knows? Both of you may learn something from each other.

Another thought: What would you do if the present girlfriend of your ex still has this huge grudge against you? Take note, your relationship with the ex ended several years ago, not months, but YEARS.

Too bad! There’s only one thing left to do, talk to the girlfriend. This isn’t kindergarten, and besides the relationship ended way back. But if the girlfriend is still giving you a hard time, be more patient. Hopefully, she’ll come to her senses and give in to your request. Talk it out, assert the girlfriend that there’s nothing to worry about and that the relationship with the ex is nothing but platonic. As simple as that! But of course, this requires a whole lot of patience. Don’t loose your temper… continue to be nice… maintain your composure…

 
Another thought: What would you do if your friends stabbed you at the back without even knowing it? (Like duh? Are they that stupid? As a matter of fact, there are people like that, I know… it’s sooo sad)

I would demand an explanation! But since I’m infuriated at what they’ve done, I might just curse them all together! Haha! That’ll teach them not to mess with me! I am deeply scorned but I will rise from the ashes and revenge will be sweet! Haha! Seriously, if ever the time comes that they’ll explain themselves, it won’t matter anymore. I would no longer care, they can just put a lid on it. I am no longer interested. They’ve just proven that they don’t deserve my friendship. They’re weak and I won’t be always here to be strong for them. You are on your own “friends”… good riddance!

Change is the most constant thing in the planet, everything changes – good and bad, better or worse… sometimes I’ve learned to despise bad or worse changes, but looking back, it is something that defines other people. It is indeed a factor in one’s life. We all go through it one way or another. It is up to us if we wanna subject ourselves to such change. A whole lot has changed since I left college and Nagaland. I have become a better person, but reaching this state was not an easy road to travel, I’ve had my moments and I am not perfect. Other people may think that I’ve become such a brag ever since I stepped in Manila, but I am still that same “probinsiyana” girl, only better. I have grown, matured, and dealt with situations only us know and we have been through a lot also! But we managed to surpass all of it, my friends, or rather my sisters worked hand in hand, helping each other in those trying times. I am indeed lucky and blessed. I was beginning to think that there’s no such thing as FOREVER, but that was only applicable to the ex-barkada. With the sisterhood and POF, there’s definitely forever!!! I love my girls!!! Awww… (tears…) hahahaha!

blog pot

For the nth time, I find myself bored – with nothing else to do except lure my attention to something, in my opinion, the most productive thing to do as of the moment – BLOGGING.

So this time, instead of focusing on my room mate’s Word Find Book, my other room mate suggested I read Bob Ong’s book – A B N K K B S N P L Ako?!

First pages of this book were rather amusing. I never realized that reading books in Filipino language could actually be fun! Hahahaha! But that’s not the point, I haven’t finished reading it yet, coz, as I was reading the book, I found myself smiling… so I stopped… I was this close to laughing out loud but that would rather draw attention to myself. And my office mates would know that I’m doing nothing… which is not a good thing… and they would not approve…. But it’s unfair! They’re all busy except me… bummer! But whoever said life was fair?

And here I am, thinking of a good topic for my blog, and suddenly, I came up with nothing! Nothing! Can you imagine that? It’ll come to me… I know of it… maybe later… Goodness! Is my brain going stagnant? Damn! That’s not good! It’s horrible!

Now, I am still thinking of what topic I can tackle or discuss in this blog…

But my thoughts aren’t coming together for some reason…

Here’s a thought: what does this year have in store for me?

This is still a puzzling question on my part. I am still on my quest for searching that awesome job… God, please help me…

Another thought: what are the things I  wanna buy for myself this year?

                (still on the works… I’ll try to make it to 15 or 20… if I can)

1. Tuesdays with Morrie (novel) – I had been eyeing this one at Powerbooks the last time I was there… I should have bought it for myself!

2. Bible – as weird as it may seem but I wanna read it from cover to cover, understand more about my faith and the stories of God…

3. Business suits – pursuing a more corporate career this year would mean impressive suits…

4. Long sleeves tops – other than jackets, I have none… so I need to get myself some of these…

5. Flats / Sandals – they’re all worn out coz I use them everyday at work, and my ex-roomie borrowed it most of the time

6. Pants / Shorts – most of them are worn out too… the jeans are part of my office uniform… the shorts are my weekend ensemble whenever I go out with my friends

7. Bag – been using them for a year now… and my black bag is suddenly scaly… it’s peeling… huhu… and the zipper bag needs a trip to the washing machine…

8. Cell phone – my N3310 died on me last year, and I need a new one badly… I have 2 SIM cards and only one phone… go figure…

9. Pair of sneakers – got hand-me-down Chucks knock-off and it’s just this close to dying, I’d have to bid goodbye to them soon…

10. DVD of all Tom & Jerry cartoon series – used to watch this show when I was a kid… I gotta have these!

11. Undies – come to think of it, I haven’t purchased a single one for myself! Most of my undies are given to me as gifts from my family and friends! Hahahahaha!

12. Laptop – although I’m not sure if I’ll be able to purchase one for this year… but, we never know…

13. Roundtrip ticket to another country in Asia (other than the Philippines) or a vacation package somewhere in Asia – we’ve been planning an out of the country trip since last year… I’m keeping my fingers crossed on this one! I do hope we can all go this year…

BETTER OFF INDEED

And there I was… fighting the boredom and searching the internet with connecting flights from Manila to Toronto, which is by the way not for me but for my boss. All of a sudden I’m a travel agent again. Good thing my best friend works for a travel agency so I didn’t have much problem. It just so happens that my good friend, K, who is now residing at California is actually on line! We did the usual “how are you’s” and stuff like that… but what really got my blood boiling was our discussion of the ex-barkada’s annual Christmas party… I’ll share our conversation here… (I edited it for some certain reasons, for anonymity maybe?):
 

K (1/22/2008 2:22:59 PM): nag-apod palan ako kina Y kang party ta… kitang 3 nina J ang absent

P (1/22/2008 2:23:40 PM): kelan naman yung party?

K (1/22/2008 2:24:01 PM): dec. 30th yata

K (1/22/2008 2:24:18 PM): didn’t they tell you the date of the party?

P (1/22/2008 2:24:27 PM): no…

K (1/22/2008 2:24:41 PM): what?????

P (1/22/2008 2:24:44 PM): as in i told M na i’ll be back on the 29th

P (1/22/2008 2:24:57 PM): no text message or whatever

K (1/22/2008 2:24:57 PM): i thought u knew the date of our xmas party… oh man!

P (1/22/2008 2:25:03 PM): no…

P (1/22/2008 2:25:09 PM): as in… o well…

P (1/22/2008 2:25:17 PM): I’m not part of the group nga pala

P (1/22/2008 2:25:22 PM): haha

K (1/22/2008 2:25:24 PM): akala ko, kaya you weren’t there coz you weren’t able to make it, to attend our party…

P (1/22/2008 2:25:28 PM): nagtaka pa tayo di ba?

P (1/22/2008 2:25:35 PM): what?

K (1/22/2008 2:25:36 PM): they didn’t invite you? oh man!

P (1/22/2008 2:25:42 PM): no… i was just at home

P (1/22/2008 2:25:55 PM): i guess you can say that.. i wasn’t invited.. hahaha

P (1/22/2008 2:25:58 PM): i love it!

P (1/22/2008 2:26:04 PM): see…

P (1/22/2008 2:26:15 PM): makes me think tuloy…

K (1/22/2008 2:26:24 PM): akala ko sinabihan ka ninda…

K (1/22/2008 2:27:14 PM): about our xmas party date… and that you weren’t there at the party coz you weren’t available on that date, not that they didn’t invite you…

P (1/22/2008 2:28:00 PM): welcome to reality girl…

K (1/22/2008 2:28:15 PM): that is sad… i didn’t know

P (1/22/2008 2:28:25 PM): i even asked M if they had the party… nagtext ako nung jan. 7… her birthday…

P (1/22/2008 2:28:35 PM): coz i thought, baka hindi natuloy…

K (1/22/2008 2:28:36 PM): i didn’t know that they didn’t tell you…

K (1/22/2008 2:28:38 PM): what sabi ni M?

P (1/22/2008 2:28:48 PM): at hindi sya nag-reply

P (1/22/2008 2:28:53 PM): bongga!

K (1/22/2008 2:29:00 PM): goodness!!!

P (1/22/2008 2:29:03 PM): di ba?? dodging the question

K (1/22/2008 2:29:15 PM): yeah!

K (1/22/2008 2:29:38 PM): they should’ve told u… but too late for that now… tsk, tsk

P (1/22/2008 2:29:49 PM): yup…

P (1/22/2008 2:29:54 PM): tsk, tsk

P (1/22/2008 2:30:16 PM): i was ready pa naman sana with my farewell speech…

P (1/22/2008 2:30:30 PM): kaso… yun… there’s no more point…

K (1/22/2008 2:30:59 PM): i’m a little disappointed with what happened sa party ta… sorry girl, i didn’t know…

K (1/22/2008 2:32:34 PM): i wanted to patch things up in our circle of friendship, and the best time to talk about the misunderstanding was at our annual party… i was hoping that they would open up and speak their minds about our situation…

P (1/22/2008 2:34:49 PM): i was hoping to talk to them too… pero wala eh…

P (1/22/2008 2:34:57 PM): nawalan na tuloy ako ng gana…

P (1/22/2008 2:35:04 PM): so ganyan na pala…

P (1/22/2008 2:35:15 PM): so how did i find out about the party?

P (1/22/2008 2:35:19 PM): well…

P (1/22/2008 2:35:33 PM): i saw the pictures sa friendster ni M…

P (1/22/2008 2:35:38 PM): nice noh?

P (1/22/2008 2:35:46 PM): so who are taking sides now?

K (1/22/2008 2:35:54 PM): yeah, they have pictures all over their friendster accounts

P (1/22/2008 2:35:54 PM): sorry… medyo bitter…

P (1/22/2008 2:36:07 PM): pero i thought they were better than that

K (1/22/2008 2:36:09 PM): that’s okay, i understand where you’re coming from

K (1/22/2008 2:36:34 PM): yeah! I’m shocked too na they didn’t tell you or invite you about our xmas party

P (1/22/2008 2:36:45 PM): hindi tlga…

P (1/22/2008 2:36:50 PM): hay naku…

P (1/22/2008 2:37:00 PM): you should read my blog at prinz.i.ph

P (1/22/2008 2:37:12 PM): nandun na saloobin ko about the matter

P (1/22/2008 2:37:35 PM): wait,they told you ba na i was invited to the party?

K (1/22/2008 2:37:52 PM): i don’t remember

P (1/22/2008 2:37:58 PM): hmmm

K (1/22/2008 2:38:22 PM): i guess not, we were pretty much doing the "kumustahan"

P (1/22/2008 2:38:48 PM): ahhhh… some friends you’ve got…

K (1/22/2008 2:39:21 PM): oh dear, i’m sorry!

P (1/22/2008 2:39:22 PM): can you tell them, na lalo lang nila pinalala yung situation bcoz of what they did…

P (1/22/2008 2:39:28 PM): too much bullsh*t kc!

P (1/22/2008 2:39:53 PM): i even greeted all of them pa nung new year including D!

P (1/22/2008 2:40:00 PM): haaay

K (1/22/2008 2:40:24 PM): haaaay!

K (1/22/2008 2:40:35 PM): nag-reply c D saimo?

P (1/22/2008 2:41:24 PM): nope

P (1/22/2008 2:41:36 PM): haay naku.. ayoko na mag-effort!

P (1/22/2008 2:41:40 PM): it’s pointless

K (1/22/2008 2:41:49 PM): oh

K (1/22/2008 2:43:01 PM): i can’t speak for them, pero sana there will come a time n magka-one on one kita gabos, para magka-igwa pang hope n maayos in time ang situation

P (1/22/2008 2:43:37 PM): hay, i doubt that… they’re stuck in an era where all they care about are the happy times…

P (1/22/2008 2:44:02 PM): they don’t wanna deal with the sad or trying times

P (1/22/2008 2:44:11 PM): kaya sana… they grow up…

P (1/22/2008 2:44:16 PM): for their sake

K (1/22/2008 2:44:22 PM): maybe things will change for the better… I’m still hopeful

P (1/22/2008 2:44:34 PM): haaay…

P (1/22/2008 2:44:42 PM): let’s hope you’re right

K (1/22/2008 2:44:45 PM): we just all need to reconnect

K (1/22/2008 2:45:03 PM): yeah, let’s hope I’m right…

I was gonna let it go, eventually forget about it, but with what they’ve done… they actually managed to make things worse! Bravo! I applaud them for that!

Here I was, thinking I was actually being a brat but in reality, they are the ones acting really childish! I mean, why would they not invite me? M could have not sent that message – inquiring when I’ll be back in Naga so that they can plan the party, but no… she had to send it. In a way, it was an invitation but not a formal one.

 How can I be stupid enough to actually think that there’s something worth saving in this friendship? Now I am p*ssed!

 How can they say that they’re just there for me when in fact they’re actually not! Ha! Some friends you’ve got K! After what just transpired, I am really better off without them.

 Were they afraid of a confrontation that’s why they didn’t inform me about the party? Are they scared that they can’t take what I would have to say about them? Yup! I would have told them exactly what I have in mind! That they’re all full of crap! They made me believe that they’re my friends and that they’re completely neutral about the whole fight thing! Well, bullsh*t! Bullsh*t! BULLSH*T!!! I’m sorry that I even believed that crap!!! Stupid!!! They don’t deserve me… they even don’t deserve any good friends for that matter! They may or may not have a good excuse for not inviting me, after all, I did leave the group, but here’s the thing… if they really want to make things right again, they would have made an effort. Now I am sick and tired of all these sh*t!

What do you have to say for yourselves? YV? JP? JB? MS? DA? What? What? What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?! You’re gonna hide in your own little corner again like filthy little rats? And you call yourselves my friends?! GROW UP people! You are all a disgrace!!! You all disgust me!!!

You have messed with the wrong girl… now… feel my wrath upon all of you!!!

better off

FALLING OUT MAYBE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED…

Last year, I have withstood one of the ultimate tests in friendships. It never really occurred to me that such thing can actually happen, but it did and I am more or less happy of its outcome.

I came to realize that no matter what, real friends – no matter if you disagree most of the time… are there for you, who will fight for you, and who won’t just stand there and do nothing when other people are pulling you down.

Just before I came back home to Nagaland, one of my friends contacted me and asked me when I’m coming back so we can have the party. As we have started years before, our annual barkada party takes place every after Christmas, when everyone is back. I told her when I’ll be back but I didn’t tell her I’m coming to the party.

After all that has happened, I put myself out of my own misery by leaving the barkada. What transpired months before was something I cannot just forget. And I was still pretty sure that I don’t want to see one of them or maybe all of them for that matter.

My announcement of leaving the group was a bit chaotic, they won’t hear of it. And one of them, as our disagreements strained the barkada, finally decided and went on ahead, following my lead of leaving the group as well. According to her, the barkada needs me more than they need her, and that I have put the barkada all-together, making me one of its fore-founders, and all that non-sense.

It wasn’t an issue of who needs who, or anything like that at all. Each one of us is different and if ever we all got together, it is because we all share common interests, or at least we used to.

And so there I was, back home. Spent eight days with my family and no one contacted me about the party. Of course, I’m no longer part of the group but I was expecting that we all get together and for me to say my final piece. But, there wasn’t any invitation or whatever.

I got back in Manila and then I saw the pictures. They had their party alright and with her. The one who supposedly left the group. There they were, smiling and having fun like nothing happened! What the hell is wrong with these people?! I can’t believe it! I can’t help but shake my head in disbelief… everything was still the way it was… it was such a pity… and I’m actually glad I wasn’t part of it anymore. Of course I’ll miss our fun times but when are they gonna stick it to their heads or minds (if they have one) that friendship isn’t always about happy moments… friendship is about growth, maturity, and about life in general. Friendship is all about the good and the bad times. Real friends stick with you either way, and tell to your face that life isn’t all about having fun, but going through hell as well.

When are they gonna grow up? Only time will tell and only them can figure themselves out. I just hope that everything won’t backfire on them. I would just wish them well… for now…