misery mondays

november 12, 2007

i really could care less if they don't include me in any of the projects, i'm leaving anyway… you won't see me anymore next year! good riddance to everyone! i'm not really in good terms with my co-worker, but we maintained being civil to each other.. i don't talk to her unless i really have to… coz i ain't got a word to say to her…

i love to stay invisible… less work… less pressure… i'd rather stay in my own world… my autistic self taking over again… haha!

the way i see it, i'm not really cut out for this job. i'm moving on everyone! i'll bid you all farewell in a few months. thanks for the memories!

i'm ranting again… what else is new? i don't really need their pity… they can laugh all they want… make fun of me endlessly… i don't care! coz in the end, i'll have the last laugh! and you all will still be stuck with each other! good luck!!! 

i'm really not liking where i am right now… is it me? or is it just monday syndrome talking? i despise every work related bull crap there is! pardon my language but the intensity of what i'm feeling is way beyond bull crap and all that shit!

indeed i am feeling hellish! how long has it been that i was actually looking forward to going to work? hmmm… let me think… since after tarlac… there's no more hope… no more silver lining… no more… i feel like everyone's against me! haha! love it! kill me if you dare! let's put ourselves out of misery then! i wanna shout! scream until my vocal chords can no longer take the strain!

but life is as it is… nothing to do except live it… bull shit! to hell with everyone! two more hours and i'm outta here! rarr! i hate mondays! i really do!!! 

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november 5, 2007 

counting sheeps… feeling sleepy… i finally hit the sack at 3am this morning! and i got racoon-like eyes already… sometimes i ask myself… is going through all this crap worth it? is it? i don't even know the answer to that question… as i fight the urge to sleep, a deep slumber is rather tempting. again, i ache for the bed… SLEEP! gotta have some sleep! keeping a happy disposition for this week, or rather this day is freakin difficult! 3 hours and counting before the work day ends… i wish i have adam sandler's remote control in the movie 'CLICK'… can i just skip this day and fast track on my new job?! unless i find myself one… help me! for the long weekend, i busied myself with job hunting online. i can't will myself to search for jobs by personally submitting and passing on my resumes in companies because i don't have that luxury… meaning, no time for that because i'm still working in hell… misery taking over again… it is rather surreal…

someday.. i’m gonna marry orlando bloom.. haha!

yup! wishy wish! hahaha! saw another one of my blog snippets in my work notebook..

dated may 31st, year 2007:

it's the last day of may and summer's fading fast… i fear it's gonna rain cats and dogs or more like dinosaurs… just the other night, we were all soaking, drenched in rain water, and there was a blackout in kamuning area… not to mention the difficulty of hailing a freaking cab because to top it all off, some parts of kamuning were flooded! nice isn't it? so my boss had no choice but to give us all a ride home. i left the office at around 6pm and i came home at around 9pm. traffic was hellish! good thing kuya elvis knows every little street of manila that he easily maneuvers in and out of traffic. yey!

anyway, enough of that freaking blackout and flooded night, i spent the night of the 31st with two buddies, namely deene and wowee, both good friends from college. we went movie watching and watched PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN - AT WORLD'S END… story was okay but blimey! ORLANDO BLOOM / WILL TURNER IS A BLOODY HOT PIRATE!!! i am soooo in love!!! just ask both my seatmates! i was literally smitten! damn!!

i actually enjoyed the movie, well, honestly i was contented already just seeing orlando bloom on the big screen… hehe… but story wise, it was okay. captain jack sparrow never failed to crack me up every time. and as deene had said, jack sparrow always had a grand entrance! i actually enjoyed the multiple jack sparrow scenes… and of course the action/wedding scene of elizabeth swann and will turner! applauded!! bravo!!

orlando bloom i will marry you someday… maybe not in this lifetime… but in an alternate universe! hahaha! that's good enough for me!! hahahaha!!  

blame it on the weatherman

yes.. it's all my fault! i freakin killed lapulapu! yes! put all the blame on me!

i screwed up big time! i did it! i'm slacking at my job! i'm sooo irresponsible!

i didn't guide the team accordingly! i neglected my obligations! what else?!

yup! blame it all on me! kill me if you please!!! rarr!!! 

apparently, everything is falling apart.. all things are fucked up in one of the projects.. yes.. truth be told, i am not wonder woman or super girl! i am just human.. of flesh and blood.. ever heard of that?! yup! humans do exist in this world.. and if i can't seem to handle everything since i only got two hands.. count that.. two!.. then sue me!!

it is sooo easy to put the blame on someone.. just put me out of my own misery then!

if you're so damn well good at your job, then you might as well take mine! looks like you still need the "extra" responsibilities since you can handle a lot of things at the same time! too bad i'm not a super hero.. i don't have special powers.. (sarcasm taking over)

i gotta get myself another job.. this job is killing me.. as of this very moment, at 1 am.. i am not entitled to any sleep unless i finish this freaking report.. i am indeed cursed! i knew from the very start that this project is gonna fall in shambles and it's too bad that i get to be a part of it.. damn! it's got failure written all over it and yet we still pursued with it! damn!! i am indeed cursed!!! why am i being punished?! 

oh well, i just have to take it all in.. that's life.. it ain't always a bed of roses.. 

the long weekend

i really can't think of a suitable title for this blog.. except that one indicated above..

and so the long weekend, or should i say.. the long vacation..

joyz and i are left home.. bax went home to nagaland and ariane went to boracay..

what else do we have to do? joyz and i busied ourselves with blogging and watching television and eating and reading and coloring.. yup! coloring books! and of course, swimming and sauna..

we had our own movie night, watching dvds of outdated movies namely: jersey girl and boy meets girl(?), i'm not sure about the latter's title though.. but all the same, we had our share of laughs..

we also heard mass at greenhills last friday.. since we weren't able to visit our departed loved ones on november 1st.. 

it was fun.. bonding time with my roomie joyz.. haha.. 

just because i’m bored

i was cleaning up my bag when i came up with a piece of paper that contains my doodles and blog snippets from those boring days at the workplace.. come to think of it.. i do have a lot of those moments at the workplace.. hmmm..

-dated a few months ago-

-FRET-

worried still, qualms overheard, woes unreal, nightmares feared

as darkness fell, a shiver down my spine, feeling like hell, a suppressed whine

i dare to shout, but tears have fallen, what is this about, gloom overtaken

time aghast, misery rising, unspoken spell passed, morbidity singing

dread encompassing, deafening silence roared, sickening thuds ringing, FUCK IT! I'M BORED! 

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-dated a few months back-

-BORED-

in this dimly lit room, engulfed in quiet bliss, put on my overused headset, drowning my woes,

in random music, tunes tickling my ears, humming to myself, mouthing the words.. lip syncing.. 

a tap on my shoulder as i bobbed my head in rhythm to the music, looking behind my back

i found myself reeled back to reality — to the workplace…

damn! it's way too boring! misery strikes again.. i would likely doze off if it weren't for my music!

oh well, life's a bitch! ain't that right?

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-dated on a misery monday some months ago-

-MONDAY SICKNESS-

monday sickness kicking in so damn hard! that it, as a matter of fact, hurts! ouch! makes me wish that i should have stayed home and slept the whole damn day! i should be lying around on the bed and catching up on lost sleep..

i ache for the bed, the pillows, the blanket.. i long to doze off as i watch television.. drowning my woes for a few hours of sleep..

it is way too boring.. i pity myself.. i could be doing something productive instead of torturing myself during idle moments.. i'm dizzy and i feel sleepy.. stifling a yawn.. what else can i do?

aaaaarrrggghhhh!! i hate this! i really hate this! music as my refuge helps only a little bit..

if boredom can kill, then i would have been a mere memory now.. a free spirit roaming around..

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-dated august 14, 2007-

the date… which reminds me, today's the month-sary of the hunnies — ariane and raphii.. oh well..

my thoughts linger… last night was fun… me and ariane sang our lungs out, a mini concert, i believe, at unit 2108… haha… unleashing our vocal prowess in the process, i wonder if we were good… hehe… our two spectators, namely joyz and bax barely noticed… they were busy watching CSI on tv… haha…

it was fun… loads of fun! i wanna do it again! oohh… we're gonna clean the house tonight… shit! i hate it! 

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-dated OCT. 30, 2007-

misery unfolds… it is slowly dawning on me that i'm starting to hate my job… yes, i get to travel but my job has its downsides… i just had enough, i mean… i have put up with a lot of things already and i'm losing patience! being an underdog doesn't necessarily mean enduring all the crap! duh?! i'm not your freakin' slave! and i won't always be around to absorb all the blame! i'm leaving soon and you all can't stop me anymore! rarr!

it even doesn't help being the youngest in the office, i mean, they don't take me seriously… i've tried… believe me, i've tried to get along with the 'gurang-ers' but they don't consider any of my opinion… it's like i'm a ghost… so there you go… if all of you can't seem to see my importance, then, to heck to all of you! i will for sure miss some of you, but that's all there is to it.. i'll be glad to leave… good riddance to all of you!

thanks for the memories! 

there are times that i'd rather work at home… where i can really think.. where there's no one that would eye me down… i'd really like to think that we all are equal but others still think that they're superior and i can't really blame them… but… hello?! you all went through what i'm going through, and it's not an excuse that you give me a hard time since you've been through hell when you were my age! damn! (sigh…)

i wanna go home! i'm in freaking hell! help me! save me! wait, i can save myself pala… i'm not the one that needs saving… they are… rarr!