you think you know, but you have no idea

september 20, 2007 (thursday)

how well do you know your friends? do you really? hmm.. lemme think for a bit.. well, i think i know some of them.. yup.. i guess i did.. but i was wrong.. totally wrong..

let me ask you this, do friends deliberately say hurtful things to one another? is it really necessary to result to name calling and stuff? would friends do that? i don't think so..

would i let someone do that to me? curse me or something? hell no!! it's gonna be war i tell you.. all hell would break loose! but what if that someone is a friend of yours, not just any friend, but a friend you've known almost your entire life? someone you've grown up with? someone whom you thought knew the real you.. someone you considered family..

if that's the case, then that friend isn't really a friend.. just a mere acquaintance.. a nobody.. i really don't wanna think that the friendship i hold so dear would just go down the drain.. split into pieces.. impossible to put together..

i have been called a lot of things by people i don't even know, i could care less what they think, they're not important to me.. i care what the people i love think, their opinions matter.. coz these people make my life worth living..

so how does it feel being called something i'm not? by a friend, not just any friend but a friend i considered true and great.. it sucks.. really.. it hit me hard.. like a slap in the face.. may sound overly dramatic but it left me scarred for life.. yeah.. cried a river after that..

i can't even will myself to hate nor despise, can't even curse nor send back a bitchy retort.. i can't coz i won't do that.. that's the difference.. i won't stoop down to that level.. i'm not that deranged.. i even surprised myself with my reaction.. is this maturity? i hope so..

so think about it, look around you, try to gauge the friendships you have, if it's worth it.. if it's worth fighting for.. if it's worth your time.. if your friends are really your friends.. if they are for real.. if they are the ones they tell they are.. if your answer is yes, then i'll tell you to hold on to that friendship because it's such a rare thing to have that kind of friendship nowadays..

it's heart breaking to know after all these years that you really don't know each other, that it'll all boil down to this.. something that isn't actually forever.. something that wasn't meant to be.. it's a pity really.. i'd hate to say this, but things will never be the same.. it'll never be.. i may be able to forgive but i won't be able to forget what my "friend" had done.. not in this lifetime..

it's sad but true.. it sucks isn't it? the experiences i go through.. i should write a book out of my life.. i think a lot of people will learn from my experiences..

to my friends i consider true.. thank you for being there.. i won't be able to go through with this if it weren't for all of you.. i am blessed to have you all.. with that said.. let's go out and celebrate our friendship!!! let's par-tey!!! i love you girlz!!! you know who you are!! ***cheers!!

weather forecast

Just checked the weather forecast today in the newspaper… one thing caught my eye though… the forecast for September 14 said:

“Maaliwalas ang langit pero wag na munang gumimik sa gabi, baka umulan.”

Hahahahaha… as if that’s gonna stop us from going out with our planned pre-birthday/yummy watching/food trip/partey til the break of dawn night out! Hahaha!!

Ever since we were in high school, may it rain or not, we’ll push through with the partey! Haha!! Rain isn’t a hindrance in spending a great night out with friends! Hell, even if there’s People Power going on, we’re still out to partey!! Hehe!! Right, Ariane!?  

I guess, we’re just too excited to go out and par-tey… For once, we’ll be complete! Fingers crossed!! I don’t wanna jinx it! Hehe!!

Well, what do we get to celebrate? Hmmm… my birthday for instance!? Yup! The big 24! I’ll be turning 24, so I guess another year will be added to my age… hahahaha… but as I always say, I still feel like I’m 18 and hadn’t grown old ever since!! Hahaha!! That’s the spirit!! As long as I get to enjoy life, I won’t feel like I’m aging at all!!  

And we get to celebrate the social status we’re all in!! (Note: Even the ones with boyfriends get to be single during this night!) SINGLES ROCK! Hahahahaha!! Thus the yummy watching part… hehe… it is our quest to find that “yummy” thingy!! Hahaha!! Let’s drink to that ladies!! Cheers!!  

And the fact that Ronnie gets to sleepover at the condo!! Yippee!! Looks like we’re gonna be up all night long!! Haha! Will we wait for sunrise?! Hehe! We’ve done that in Batangas, I think we can do it again!! Hehe!! Reminiscing the good old days… hehe… Looking forward to the krispy kreme donuts Ron!! Hehe!!

And yup! Thanks again friends for your gifts! So I guess, there’s no documentation for the opening of presents this year… I’ll just take photos of your gifts!! 

Thanks a lot girls!! I’m really happy with my gifts, although I haven’t seen them all yet, still, I am grateful!! Love you all!!! Big hug and more kisses!!! Mmmmmwwwaaaaaaaahh!!!  

Joyz, we’ll hear mass on my birthday ok?!

the big 24

hmm.. what is it with age? it's just a number, right? or is it not?!
to be honest, i still feel like i'm 18 and i stopped aging when i turned 18.. or i feel like i did..
when people asked me how old i am.. the answer doesn't slip out right away..
i'd usually stop and think.. i'd ask myself.. hey, how old am i again?!..
even asking my friend what age i'm in would come out as a response to the question..
how old am i really?!

come to think about it, some people doesn't wanna talk about age, like its a disease or something.. some had to lie about their age.. why?! hmmm.. i'll have to research on that one..

it's flattering that some people think i'm still in college.. and i love them for that! haha!
that would mean i look younger than my age.. but sometimes, when stress overcomes everything else.. i would look older.. but then again, who cares?! i am actually used to friends rubbing in the fact that i'm a year older than them.. that i'm the big "ate" or whatever.. but when i'm with my friends and some people still think i look younger than them.. then that puts a big smile on my face! haha!

i was supposed to be enrolled in kindergarten but the principal wanted me to undergo nursery school first.. damn! it was a waste of time coz i excelled in all my subjects.. (i'm not bragging or anything) still, it was a blessing in disguise.. if i was allowed to enter kindegarten level, then i would not be able to meet the great friends i have now.. aaww.. *sniff!

and when i was in grade school, i'd always be one of the class officers and our advisers would insist to call the officers "ate".. thus the big "ate".. (rolling eyes) it's cool when i was in grade school.. but most of my classmates had been used to the idea so until we got older, they all still call me "ate".. haha! even when we were in high school! darn! hehe!

so now.. the big 24 is looming over.. i'm counting the days.. my last days as a 23 year old.. hmm.. what will i mostly miss in my 23rd year of existence?! hmm.. a lot! but the fact that i'm one of the youngest in the work place still lingers.. haha! i'm still the baby! yey!! so they all take good care of me specially on those out of town events.. they make sure that they feed me well coz i get cranky when i'm hungry.. hehe!

but among my friends.. hmm.. i'm still the "ate".. i've learned to detest that word but then again.. it's fine now.. only a few people call me "ate" nowadays.. so i'm good..

all i can wonder is that.. what does this year has in store for me?! hmmm.. i can only guess..
so.. this is life.. part of it is aging.. or growing old.. or getting more mature.. or whatever.. all of us will go through with it.. one way or another.. haha.. remember friends.. tatanda rin kayo! mauuna nga lang ako ng konti.. hahaha!!

so.. happy birthday to me in advance! i wonder if i'll have cake this year?! hmm.. i'll buy myself a slice na lang and blow a tiny candle.. what will i wish for?! hmm.. that i have to think about..

i'm still craving for krispy kreme! darn it! ilang araw na 'toh ah! (sigh!)